(SP) – NFL draft prospect Josh Rosen held a special workout for NFL scouts today on UCLA’s campus, going through a short series of drills before inviting all the assembled scouts to a table to watch him eat a large bowl of paint. chips mixed with milk.
« There’s been a growing concern among teams looking at Josh that he’s too smart and knows too much about the world to be a successful football player, » Rosen’s agent said. « Hopefully today he demonstrated his willingness to damage his brain enough to play in the NFL. »
Scouts in attendance said they were very encouraged by Rosen’s performance and now see him as the top quarterback in the draft.
« After the bowl was over, I pulled him aside and said, ‘Tell me your thoughts on current events,' » said one NFL scout whose team has a top-five pick. « All he did was drool and say, ‘I like football.’ Football is good.’ It was perfect. »
Hours after eating the chips, however, Rosen told several reporters that it was just a ploy to boost his stock.
« I ate Corn Flakes, not paint chips, » he said. “I just told them it was lead paint chips and they were too dumb to double check. Apparently, I don’t like eating Corn Flakes either because they belong to the Kellogg family and multinational food companies make huge profits just from people needing to eat to stay alive. But I thought it would be okay to eat them this time. »
Asked if he was worried that admitting to reporters that he wasn’t eating paint chips would detract from the whole point of the screen, Rosen said it wasn’t.
« I’m pretty sure no NFL scout can read, » he said.